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Kennedy

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I had recently found out my mom has lung cancer. She has also been having horrible leg pain about 3 weeks before that diagnosis. After testing, we found out the cancer has spread and the pain is caused from the cancer being in the vertabrae. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me, realizing it may just be a matter of months/weeks until I lose my mother.
 

mboone73

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I had recently found out my mom has lung cancer. She has also been having horrible leg pain about 3 weeks before that diagnosis. After testing, we found out the cancer has spread and the pain is caused from the cancer being in the vertabrae. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me, realizing it may just be a matter of months/weeks until I lose my mother.
I’m sorry. I went through this with my dad 12 years ago. Just know that your being there is going to be a great comfort for your mom.
 
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Kennedy

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I’m sorry. I went through this with my dad 12 years ago. Just know that your being there is going to be a great comfort for your mom.
Thank you. I'm sorry you had to go through this, too. So tough :(
 
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themildone

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I had recently found out my mom has lung cancer. She has also been having horrible leg pain about 3 weeks before that diagnosis. After testing, we found out the cancer has spread and the pain is caused from the cancer being in the vertabrae. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me, realizing it may just be a matter of months/weeks until I lose my mother.
I'm so sorry :(
 
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themildone

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I've been doing really good since I got out of the hospital. I had all this energy and motivation to clean and be productive and do my hobbies. But last night it hit my like a ton of bricks out of nowhere, this dread about waking up today. And this morning everything, even the stuff I do for fun, seems pointless and not worth the effort.

Of course it'd come back. I knew it couldn't last forever, but...I wish it would. I wish I didn't have to be like this.
 

LucyO

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Thanks! I've had the EEG and am going for the MRI at the end of the month. Apparently, all my neurons are at the correct speed and the test was fine, but I'll feel better about the whole thing after the MRI. The worst part is not knowing what's going on and having to wait.... It's a running sarcastic joke in my family about how great my vast amount of patience is.
 

easterbasketcasey

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I’m ready for this year to end. I’m feeling pretty frustrated and hopeless at the moment. This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 32. Not by a long shot. And I know I haven’t been around much lately but I just needed somewhere to get my thoughts out. And I do miss you guys.

I’m smart, driven, educated, and hardworking. I should be excelling in my career right now. Instead I’m working three shitty part time jobs and still turking and poshing on the side. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, and it’s soul crushing. I’m barely staying afloat, but more than that, this isn’t what I thought I’d be doing at this age, what I should be doing. I’m still drowning in medical bills and student loans. Part of this is definitely on me, but part of this is due to other considerations (mainly health problems), and that’s the part that’s maddening. I just feel like I’m at a breaking point. I don’t want to be doing this shit anymore. I’ve tried to apply for several museum jobs that I can do (local, remote), but have only received rejection letters (nice ones at least). So, that’s lovely for the self esteem.

I’m still doing terribly mentally and physically as well. Even though I’ve been trying. I’m tired of constantly being in pain and being limited. I’m tired of trying doctor after doctor, treatment after treatment, and nothing working. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I feel like I’ve done as much as I can do, yet nothing has helped. Needless to say this hasn’t helped my existing issues with depression and anxiety.

And I know comparison is the thief of joy, but it’s virtually impossible to compare yourself to others. I feel like I’m way behind. I’m single, I don’t own a home, I don’t have a baby, I’m not kicking ass in my career. I’m not saying I want or need all those things, but it makes me feel the current state of my life is a failure.

I’ve also lost several people very important to me this year. And that’s hard. I’m tired of opening up to people and letting them in only for it to blow up in my face. It’s already hard enough for me to do that in the first place. I’ve tried to do better about how I react to things, but it’s hard. Sometimes I feel like it’s just not worth caring. But I can’t help caring. And I do miss those people very much.

I tend to stuff everything inside until nothing else fits and it all comes pouring out (i.e. this). I hate complaining and would rather just keep it in. I’ve just been so busy I feel like I haven’t had time to think or process anything. I actually prefer that though, cause when I have time to think, I can’t stop thinking and overthinking.

I appreciate anyone who read this meandering mess. I just feel stuck even though I’ve been working very hard this year. I feel like I’m failing in every aspect of my life and I’m not used to failing. I’m probably overreacting as usual, but everyone deserves a mini breakdown now and then.

I do miss you guys. I’ve been away from the forum mainly due to being incredibly busy IRL. I’ve also been spending more time out in the world, away from the internet, which has been one of the few positives. I’ve been doing things I love again, which is nice. That and reconnecting with several friends. Otherwise, this year can suck a dick. Rant over.
 
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mboone73

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I’m ready for this year to end. I’m feeling pretty frustrated and hopeless at the moment. This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 32. Not by a long shot. And I know I haven’t been around much lately but I just needed somewhere to get my thoughts out. And I do miss you guys.

I’m smart, driven, educated, and hardworking. I should be excelling in my career right now. Instead I’m working three shitty part time jobs and still turking and poshing on the side. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, and it’s soul crushing. I’m barely staying afloat, but more than that, this isn’t what I thought I’d be doing at this age, what I should be doing. I’m still drowning in medical bills and student loans. Part of this is definitely on me, but part of this is due to other considerations (mainly health problems), and that’s the part that’s maddening. I just feel like I’m at a breaking point. I don’t want to be doing this shit anymore. I’ve tried to apply for several museum jobs that I can do (local, remote), but have only received rejection letters (nice ones at least). So, that’s lovely for the self esteem.

I’m still doing terribly mentally and physically as well. Even though I’ve been trying. I’m tired of constantly being in pain and being limited. I’m tired of trying doctor after doctor, treatment after treatment, and nothing working. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I feel like I’ve done as much as I can do, yet nothing has helped. Needless to say this hasn’t helped my existing issues with depression and anxiety.

And I know comparison is the thief of joy, but it’s virtually impossible to compare yourself to others. I feel like I’m way behind. I’m single, I don’t own a home, I don’t have a baby, I’m not kicking ass in my career. I’m not saying I want or need all those things, but it makes me feel the current state of my life is a failure.

I’ve also lost several people very important to me this year. And that’s hard. I’m tired of opening up to people and letting them in only for it to blow up in my face. It’s already hard enough for me to do that in the first place. I’ve tried to do better about how I react to things, but it’s hard. Sometimes I feel like it’s just not worth caring. But I can’t help caring. And I do miss those people very much.

I tend to stuff everything inside until nothing else fits and it all comes pouring out (i.e. this). I hate complaining and would rather just keep it in. I’ve just been so busy I feel like I haven’t had time to think or process anything. I actually prefer that though, cause when I have time to think, I can’t stop thinking and overthinking.

I appreciate anyone who read this meandering mess. I just feel stuck even though I’ve been working very hard this year. I feel like I’m failing in every aspect of my life and I’m not used to failing. I’m probably overreacting as usual, but everyone deserves a mini breakdown now and then.

I do miss you guys. I’ve been away from the forum mainly due to being incredibly busy IRL. I’ve also been spending more time out in the world, away from the internet, which has been one of the few positives. I’ve been doing things I love again, which is nice. That and reconnecting with several friends. Otherwise, this year can suck a dick. Rant over.
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savvy

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I’m ready for this year to end. I’m feeling pretty frustrated and hopeless at the moment. This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 32. Not by a long shot. And I know I haven’t been around much lately but I just needed somewhere to get my thoughts out. And I do miss you guys.

I’m smart, driven, educated, and hardworking. I should be excelling in my career right now. Instead I’m working three shitty part time jobs and still turking and poshing on the side. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, and it’s soul crushing. I’m barely staying afloat, but more than that, this isn’t what I thought I’d be doing at this age, what I should be doing. I’m still drowning in medical bills and student loans. Part of this is definitely on me, but part of this is due to other considerations (mainly health problems), and that’s the part that’s maddening. I just feel like I’m at a breaking point. I don’t want to be doing this shit anymore. I’ve tried to apply for several museum jobs that I can do (local, remote), but have only received rejection letters (nice ones at least). So, that’s lovely for the self esteem.

I’m still doing terribly mentally and physically as well. Even though I’ve been trying. I’m tired of constantly being in pain and being limited. I’m tired of trying doctor after doctor, treatment after treatment, and nothing working. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I feel like I’ve done as much as I can do, yet nothing has helped. Needless to say this hasn’t helped my existing issues with depression and anxiety.

And I know comparison is the thief of joy, but it’s virtually impossible to compare yourself to others. I feel like I’m way behind. I’m single, I don’t own a home, I don’t have a baby, I’m not kicking ass in my career. I’m not saying I want or need all those things, but it makes me feel the current state of my life is a failure.

I’ve also lost several people very important to me this year. And that’s hard. I’m tired of opening up to people and letting them in only for it to blow up in my face. It’s already hard enough for me to do that in the first place. I’ve tried to do better about how I react to things, but it’s hard. Sometimes I feel like it’s just not worth caring. But I can’t help caring. And I do miss those people very much.

I tend to stuff everything inside until nothing else fits and it all comes pouring out (i.e. this). I hate complaining and would rather just keep it in. I’ve just been so busy I feel like I haven’t had time to think or process anything. I actually prefer that though, cause when I have time to think, I can’t stop thinking and overthinking.

I appreciate anyone who read this meandering mess. I just feel stuck even though I’ve been working very hard this year. I feel like I’m failing in every aspect of my life and I’m not used to failing. I’m probably overreacting as usual, but everyone deserves a mini breakdown now and then.

I do miss you guys. I’ve been away from the forum mainly due to being incredibly busy IRL. I’ve also been spending more time out in the world, away from the internet, which has been one of the few positives. I’ve been doing things I love again, which is nice. That and reconnecting with several friends. Otherwise, this year can suck a dick. Rant over.

i feel this on many levels. not much advice except keep trucking. and you're not the only one out there, and you can get through it.

I have a friend who it took 3 years for her to find a full time career job. Then her and her husband moved and shes been unemployeed for four months. She applys for 10+ jobs a week. She goes to two interviews a week. And it's just rejection after rejection :(