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Discussion in 'Social Discussion' started by Eetha, Jan 12, 2016.
think I'm gonna get this tattooed on my fuckin forehead
This is overwhelming. Now people are throwing questions and telling me to demans compensation for the blood/lab visits. Asking why I have to go. Fiance's dad is even saying maybe the job isn't worth all this.
I don't know how I'm supposed to start Friday or whatever, if I still have to go back to the lab 3 more times.
* Jaded sigh.
This is just a lot of stuff and I'm not sad/mad about it I'm just overwhelmed
i love it when i get overwhelmed and then people shout at me for dealing with the things that are overwhelming me the wrong way according to them! that is absolutely not the opposite of helping, at all!!
(it'll be fine, they'll let you sort all that stuff out after friday)
I know it shouldn't matter anymore but ex shared this on facebook and I'm raging.
i'm sure he justifies it because he didn't fuck her before he left me. at least, I don't think he did. but who knows, because he would usually 'drive around' most days after work until 2-3 in the morning before coming home. No clue what he was actually doing during those times.
idk why I still care. I wish I didn't.
wait...for the time or do you pay for the labs?
It is completely normal to not get paid to get labs and bloodwork done. It's ridic to expect they will pay for that, actually.
Yeah, the labs are free. He's wanting me to demand compensation for driving to the lab multiple times. Which I understand that it's a lot of driving, but I"m going to be working in hospital. Around diseases. And people with diseases. They need to make sure:
a. I don't have diseasey anything to give patients
b. That they won't be able to give me anything diseasey
c. I'm not a drugoholic
All of which involves testing and vaccinating I even got a free flu shot out of it.
Anyway, now that I've slept I'm not nearly so frazzled about it. He's being ridiculous. I honestly think sometimes he just likes being mad and demanding some kind of compensation (by either free stuff or money.)
I've met people like that. There is a level of you need to spend money to make money. Not a ton. But sometimes, yes you need to drive somewhere or buy a uniform. It can suck but pans out eventually.
I'm gonna be making an (estimated) $620 every two weeks. That's gonna even out the first full paycheck (I've spent $100 across new shoes, socks, clothing and whatnot.)
I know this is just my weird mental issues talking:
Spoiler: Possible paranoid rambling?
but I swear they dont' want me to get a job for some reason. Or drive. When it's an idea (rather than a concrete thing) they are all about it. Every time I have soemthing that actually might pan out, they get weird about it. Like "ugh this is so much work"
With driving too, when I say "I should totally drive" they're like "Yeah, you should. You need practice" but when I try and practice their like "eeehhh, let's hold off on that." (it's dark, I'm in a hurry, you don't know what "go wide" means so you need driving classes)
Like I said though, I think those are probably all legit things and I'm just overthinking/projecting my own stuff on them.
idk, maybe they like the control and don't want you to become independent and leave?
i really dunno your age or situation or them, but I have had friends whose parents controlled jobs/driving for a long time because they didn't want them to leave.
my parents forced me to learn how to drive, gave me a car and made me get a job as soon as I could so they didn't have to deal with me anymore lol
last night was so weird for me. the cold hearted bitch saga continued. manfriend called me from the scene of his accident, crying and shaken. he was so upset for hours and in my head I was like "ok, calm down you're fine it isn't that huge of a deal" and was getting annoyed at how dramatic he was being. But on the outside, I was being sweet and supportive. Rationally, I knew he was in shock, but I wanted him to shake it off and move on. I haven't been in a terrible accident. I would be a mess too. But it was a rough night. But once I got him fed and showered he turned into usual smiley him. After we got him some stuff and his truck and headed back to my place, I called my farm owner and we talked it out a bit.
My ex was sweet and supportive for the first 12-18 months of our realtionship. he would sing me to sleep when I had anxiety attacks. but after that I had to learn to self soothe when ever he treated me like garbage. and it made me a harder and harder person everytime. I would either leave the house or lock myself in the bathroom and sit there til I sucked it up and moved on. Every. single time. So I guess now I expect other people to do that too instead of feeling their feelings in front of me. I wasn't allowed so why should you? which scares me because that is my mother's mentality. he's better now. But I scare myself, the monster I am now. I don't want to be that monster, but the damage has been done.
I feel this so much. It's annoying because a messy home totally effs with my anxiety. I don't need the place to be spotless and sparkling but good lord, does there have to be random crap in/on every inch of the apartment???
saaame but I have zero storage space so there's clutter on every fuckin' surface and now matter how much I throw away/donate it just seems to re-accumulate as soon as I turn my back
People confuse me. How do I fix the thing I can only fix with practice if I don't practice
big same. i also experience the emotion represented by "x"
lol sorry...just decided that wasn't something I wanted people to read.
i apologise, i meant my post sincerely and it was inconsiderate of me to make it knowing that you could read it like i was reproaching you or making fun of you.
i really just wanted to come in here and post something but not say anything, and the letter x, or a post that you write & then edit to just be the letter x, felt like the thing i wanted to say. but i made a mistake & i'm genuinely sorry
oh nooo I didn't take it that way! I know you enough by now to know you wouldn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad!
don't worry about making me feel bad i've already got that covered l o l
(i promise promise you did not make me feel worse than i already did, in fact interacting with people is good for me. this is helping me)
(i'm just really really bad at it)